I don't know why but I've been having nightmares about car accidents and I wake up from them and I am freaking out. I am paranoid that I'm going to be in a really bad car accident soon. I see them happening in my mind.
I just can't stop not thinking about the day that I saw that family killed and looking in my rearview mirror and seeing my dog Cola. She was there for me. I miss her and wish she was with me still.
I know that I feel safer in my car when I have a dog with me and I think that's because I'm trying to keep calm for that dog. Now it's Cali, and now I'm grateful that she's allowed to go with me on road trips. Nobody knows just how freaked out I am and it's actually scary because my fear is probably going to make me get in a car accident. I'm going to over-correct or I'm going to avoid something. I don't know - just i'm scared.
I don't know what's going happen. I wish I was normal I wish I could trust myself to drive somewhere. I wish I could trust myself being a passenger in somebody's car. I am a freak on the road and my husband won't go on a road trip with me because he doesn't want to hear my backseat driving so to speak but I don't know how to cope. I don't know what to do - I'm terrified.
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